What exactly is parent coaching?
It’s a personal collaboration between parent and coach to achieve the client’s parenting visions and dreams by discovering and amplifying strengths, providing compassionate support and encouragement, increasing knowledge to help make the most informed daily decisions, all while sharing empowering techniques and processes. A parent may come to coaching for the special needs of their children, discipline problems, baffling behavior, negative patterns, lack of authority, overall dissatisfaction in family life or even just to gain knowledge and information to parent to the best of their ability. I personally believe that we are meant to be challenged to learn and grow in every area of our lives as adults and parenting is no exception.
My child has been identified as gifted. How can you help?
I have personal experience with this very unique situation. My son was identified as a gifted child by a psychologist in the third grade more than two years ago. Through thorough research, proactively putting together a committee in his school and using tools designed for this situation, we were able to determine the best course of action, which involved my son skipping the fourth grade. Nothing like this had ever been done at his private school in more than 35 years. Parents must be their child’s primary advocates when it comes to special needs. I have since been privileged to coach many parents of gifted children and help them with the unique challenges that come with this “gift.”
I have a very strong-willed and defiant child. Is parent coaching effective in my case?
In a nut-shell, a resounding, “YES!” We can work together to help you to avoid typical power struggles and at times inadvertently escalating common interactions. Please be assured – it is NOT your fault! Blame is unhelpful. Seeking solutions out of your love for your child, your deepest values and your commitment to improve your relationship is paramount. It’s true you can’t control your child but you do have control of you and the developing situation. You can and will be empowered to de-escalate those tumultuous patterns and see behavior changes through being connected and empathic with your child, yet at the same time enlisting firm limits and uncompromising standards. Together, we will uncover your deeper “yes” that you can anchor your daily decisions upon instead of parenting out of your own anxiety or frustration.
Why can’t I book two or three sessions and tell you all of my challenges and you tell me what to do?
Through the parent coaching process series of calls, your issues will be addressed over time, but there is no magic answer to your dilemma. The PCI’s coaching approach, Parenting as a Living System™, honors and respects everything that is going on and interacting within your family structure and environment. A small tweak in one seemingly unrelated area sometimes resolves the issue permanently. There is no one magic consequence or series of consequences that work all the time with every child. The parent coaching approach elicits long term whole family benefits, whereas a strictly narrow-scoped, trouble-shooting methodology treats children like one-size-fits-all robots. The transformative type of lasting change that can occur through coaching takes time. All of that being said, I do offer a one-off consultation for 75 minutes, in which I will have plenty of ideas about various solutions to your predominant issues that will help you, however, it is not nearly as thorough as engaging in the overall true coaching journey.
What can I expect after going through the whole process with you?
If you are open, willing and committed to the process, your hard work will pay off with more joy, confidence and mindful intention in your parenting. You will gain new perspectives and an appreciation for your situation as your strengths are amplified and you feel encouraged and supported along the way. You will be reconnected to your inner parenting wisdom and empowered to trust yourself as the true expert on determining what is right for each of your children, aided by relevant, current information. You will discover a new found resolve and inspiration to be the best role model you can be in your parenting, as you strive to continuously learn, grow and work towards your family’s ultimate, preferred future.
I’ve been to some parenting talks and read a few parenting books and nothing seems to change. How is this different?
PCI Parent Coaching is different because it is a very personal, intimate and interactive collaboration between you and your coach. You have much more motivation and accountability with an on-going participatory process and a developing positive relationship. You can expect to be challenged and become more self-aware. As your coach, I truly take an interest in your family and provide you with support, encouragement, compassion, and innovative approaches. This process is truly tailored to you and your family and is a much more impactful, comprehensive approach than what can be a hit or miss series of techniques in a book or presented in a one-night, one-way talk. The Parent Coaching relationship inherently, methodically and progressively calls you to a higher standard to be successful.
How is parent coaching different than counseling or therapy?
Therapy or counseling usually deals with past hurts, involves crisis, focuses on healing and deals with common issues such as addictions, abuse or adultery. Therapy/counseling clients are typically not at a healthy functioning level and are often very needy and in a true survival mode. Parent Coaching, on the other hand, deals with present day parenting challenges, does not address crisis situations, focuses on empowering, works with clients who are already functioning well and the client has the wherewithal and health to fully participate in the coaching relationship.
What if my spouse is not on board? Can this still work?
Yes, no doubt, if you are dedicated to improving your parenting through parent coaching, you will be surprised at the ripple effects this process has on others. I had one client tell me during our last call together, “It’s so strange. Through this process I’ve changed my thinking, attitude, words and actions which I know has directly caused changes in my children and my husband. Once I learned to concentrate on me and change my patterns everyone else around me changed!”
So I believe my family could benefit tremendously from parent coaching. What’s the next step and how do we proceed?
Please contact me so that we can have a free assessment call to determine if the PCI Parent Coaching process is a good fit for your situation. Moving forward, you will let me know which package you wish to initially invest and we can schedule our first 4-8 coaching calls. You then can submit your payment via check in the mail or pay online with your credit or check card. At that point, I will send you a contract to sign and return to me, as well as an InTake Form to fill out ahead of time and return to me before our first scheduled call together or that can be filled out over the phone during our first session together, if you prefer.
What exactly is this multi-phase process?
PCI Parent Coaching, in addition to focusing on Parenting as a Living System™, has adapted Appreciative Inquiry for an effective four phase process that cannot be circumvented in order to obtain the best lasting results possible. The first phase is called the Discovery Phase (typically 4-5 calls) where I am gathering as much relevant information as possible to obtain a bird’s eye-view of all that is occurring. Secondly, we enter the Dream Phase (usually 1 call), where together we cultivate your distincive Family’s Dream or Mission Statement captured within a few sentences. Thirdly is the Design Phase (approximately 4-6 calls) when we collaborate to implement daily action steps that will take you and your family closer to your vision. Finally, the last call is the Destiny Phase, the session we acknowledge how far you’ve come, analyze how you can keep this momentum going and anticipate hurdles. Expect to experience some epiphanies through carefully planned and emergent questions, assessments, visualizations and lots of story and idea sharing.
